SleepSelf Theory Update

August 16, 2008 in Theories
Tags: circadian rhythm, diurnal, false idol, homeostasis, list, nap, nocturnal, religion, REM, sacrifice, schedule, sleep, sleep disorders, superstition, theodicy, theology

One of the most insidious things the SleepSelf can force you to do is nap. If you don’t get enough sleep at night, thereby appeasing the SleepSelf, he will force you to sleep in the middle of your day totally disregarding any plans you’ve made, work you need to finish or oncoming traffic.

If you do take a nap, this can go either of two ways:

• One, you nap sufficiently and SleepSelf, satisfied with your offering, leaves you alone until your normally appointed hour.
• Two, you wake up before fulfilling your obligation gasping, heart racing and completely disoriented. You’ll slog through the rest of your day and SleepSelf will often punish you with insomnia later that night.

It’s best to look upon sleeping as a communion with a vengeful, jealous god.

Here’s a handy guide to aid napping: Link